Another Tired day!

another very tiring day.. baby is going through a growth spurt and Thai is trying to be to independent....I can't wait till I am cleared so I can start going to the gym and get into my own zone..no crying babies no mommy mommy mommies and no whats for dinner.. All I need is 1 hour and will be good...
So last night I was doing some more reading and I found out that the min amount of cals that i need a day to keep my milk supply is 1800.. so i figure that if i bump it to 2000 cals a day I will definitely be on the right track.. thanks to my TERRIBLE eating habits switching to a 2000 calorie diet I will be shedding the weight off a little easier! I'm still trying to figure how much I am able to work out though with out loosing to many cals to fast. Any suggestions

So tired!

Man I don't know how I will be able to work out and keep doing what I am doing.. I am exhausted! But I am still motivated and more determined to loose this weight.. I have been reading a lot about breastfeeding and I am still trying to figure out the calories I need to keep up my milk and still loose the lbs. One thing I read last night that I didn't know before was that  I should one eat an extra 200 calories a day but if I am not able to then my milk will come from my "reserves" which is just another way to say my fat stores.. that will actually help burn some cals too... Man this is already starting out very bumpy.. I can't wait to really get started with my workout though!!!

So yesterday I finally got my scale and new workout clothes I  weighed in at 274.... one set back though... I have to re calculate my goal and my calories burned since I am breastfeeding my new son.. This is going to be super hard now.... I started cutting back calories yesterday and already it has affected my milk supply.. so I might have to wait until he is one month old to try and watch calories.. that way my milk will be established. I knew this was going to be difficult but dang already!!!!

free at last

I am finally home and all of a sudden I feel like I have so much more control over my life and a lot less  temptation! So tonight I am making a super healthy dinner for my family and I and I will not have any guilty feelings after if I decided to have a little bit more after my first helping.. WATER WATER WATER!!!! Where have you been this week??? IDK but I know I was probably avoiding you a lot of the time. When I first got home late last night I had a  full gallon of spring water in the fridge... now it is almost half empty!! I feel so refreshed since coming home. I miss my family but my stomach does not! I'm so ready to start my work out in a few weeks.. But until then I am getting new workout clothes and a scale.. Any suggestions on a scale if your reading this???

ugh.... so I just weighed myself and since I have been visiting my family I have gained 4 pounds!! I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!!

temptation!!!

ugh yesterday was the worst day ever! It was mothers day and the family came to visit which was awesome! HOWEVER... being mothers day we had a bbq and the deserts were at an all time high... we had several of my favs which I caved and had some, but we had steak and hamburgers and ribs and chicken.. the healthiest was of course the chicken  that I stubbornly did not eat. We had veggies but I knowingly steered clear of them and felt guilty the entire time.. Water was like almost non existing as I drank juice and pop( strait sugar!!) I love spending time with my family and friends, but I can't wait to go back to Texas so I will not have all these tempting sweets and foods that I know are terrible for me but I eat! Ugh this is just rough...

so hard!

Man. Being back home in Kansas City makes eating right very hard! I'm not the best when it comes to veggies but man there are so many sweets and temptations around this house! Chocolate is my weakness and it seems like after every holiday candy is purchased and put in the freezer and is always here staring me in my face! At least I have been drinking nothing but water since I have been here and actually since being pregnant! I'm happy about that but I do have a weakness for happy hour at sonic :( Ugh I know this weight loss journey is going to be a super tough one.. I am still determined though and I don't think anything will get in my way and screw that up! Ciao for now lol

game plan!

Well I now have a great idea of how much I need to lose as of now in order to reach my goal. 125! That never seems like a lot until you really think about how much it is. I am still focused though. So now that I have a number it is time to start looking for a great scale. I am in Kc for a few days so I will just use my grandmothers until I head back home. Giving me plenty of time to look for a scale. I have 2 recipe books that have easy and healthy meals and such. Now its time to start putting all of them together so I won't get sidetracked! Being healthy and getting fit starts now and last forever! I can't wait until the Dr clears me to work out again! So glad that I have motivation and support. Especially from an actual FOOTBALL PLAYER!

About me

So now that I have had my  new baby boy, I am more determined to lose this weight! I can't remember the last time I weighed less than 200 pounds. Well actually I do but I'm not sure how old I was. I just know that I was way too young to be that heavy. I go to the Dr. tomorrow for an accurate post baby weight and then it is back to the drawing board and even more planning. As of Right now I am attempting to lose 150 pounds by December 26th 2011. I decided to write this blog as a personal journal and a way to let out my thoughts through this whole process. My inspiration for losing weight is of course myself and the life that I would like to have. Also my family, I want to be able to be healthy and a role model for my children. I don't want to be a hypocrite in their eyes! Also for my husband. He deserves to have a loving wife by his side! One that is healthy and is not at risk for many diseases caused by being over weight. But mostly I am doing this for me. I have never been  happy with my appearance. I have always felt like I was the fat friend of the pretty girl. There is always one in every circle of friends. ALWAYS! But I'm tired of looking in the mirror and not liking what I see. During my 39th week of pregnancy I peaked at 300 pounds. I gained about 40 pounds this time! NO BUENO! So here I am at the start of what seems like is going to take forever and I may possibly never reach ( given my track record), I don't know what will happen and how this is going to work, I just know that I have never been more determined in my life!